Meditation2

I hate boys

Nevermind, I give up.

There is no Modern Romance

... baby i'm afraid of a lot of things
but i aint scared of loving you
baby i know your afraid of a lot of things
but don't be scared of love cause
people will say all kinds of things
that don't mean a damn to me
cause all i see is what's in front of me
and that's you
well, i've been dragged all over the place
i've taken hits time just don't erase
and baby i can see you've been fucked with too
but that don't mean your loving days are through
cause people will say all kinds of things
that don't mean a damn to me
cause all i see is what's in front of me
and that's you
well i may be just a fool
but i know we're just as cool
and cool kids they belong together
--Yeah Yeah Yeahs hidden track on Fever to Tell

Stupid reasons it didn't work out

Of course these are not the real reasons it didn't work out but crap like this is easier to talk about than "emotional availability" and "trust" and the like.

For you:
1. Your apartment was filled with bugs, if we went out any longer I would just be one giant, swollen, itchy, red, bug bite
2. You never took me to your place in Mexico
3. I'm a breakfast person, you were not

And you:
1. I never made you a mix cd
2. I didn't understand your Star Wars references
3. You would stare at my zits

And you:
1. You hated my arm pits
2. I couldn't stand to eat any more pizza by the slice-- I wanted to eat at a restuarant with waiters
3. Your toilet was gnarly, the sink was worse

And you:
1. The Chucks
2. The Poptarts
3. The Belle and Sebastian

And even you:
1. Bob Schneider
1. Your apartment had bugs too
2. Too fast, way too fast

Getting crafty

Instead of shelling out $30 for an iPod case I spent $2 on some wood grain printed foam and sewed my own iPod case. I am CRAZY. I know. I made a template (pdf), taped it on the foam, and cut it out with a fresh X-acto blade. Then I sewed it together with some bookbinder's thread, because that's all I had a round. I bet yarn or thick crochet string would have been better.

When I lose control I go to totally ridiculous sources for hope...

Like horoscopes.

Capricorn horoscope for today:
Turn your charm up all the way to 11. That way it'll reach everyone it
needs to -- not just the folks within your immediate range. The volume
is sure to attract all the right kinds of attention. --astrology.com

11. I'm turning it up to 11 folks. Put in your ear plugs.

They always know how to make me feel better

Em and Lo's weekly horoscope:

capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
Life can be like a fairy tale, it just takes a little longer to get to the happy ending. Like this week, for example: toads, toads, toads, toads, toads. So don't bother kissing any of them, unless you like getting warty lips.

I don't care, I like you

Vein to vein
Mirror images, mouths and fingers
Your hearts are waiting in line to tessellate
Clumsy beast walking by, wishing you well
Brush away the dust in my echoed cavity
And tell me, I can wet the planes to wash
The patterns into the bucket to stir it up
And start over again

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Also, I love Rilo Kiley:

"Portions For Foxes"
There's blood in my mouth 'cause I've been biting my tongue all week
I keep on talkin' trash but I never say anything
And the talkin' leads to touchin'
and the touchin' leads to sex
and then there is no mystery left

And it's bad news
Baby I'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news

I know I'm alone if I'm with or without you
but just bein' around you offers me another form of relief
When the lonliness leads to bad dreams
and the bad dreams lead me to callin' you
and I call you and say "C'MERE!"

And it's bad news
Baby I'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news

And it's bad news
Baby it's bad news
It's just bad news, bad news, bad news

'Cause you're just damage control
for a walking corpse like me - like you

'Cause we'll all be
Portions for foxes
Yeah we'll all be
Portions for foxes

There's a pretty young thing in front of you
and she's real pretty and she's real into you
and then she's sleepin' inside of you
and the talkin' leads to touchin'
and the touchin' leads to sex
and then there is no mystery left

And it's bad news
I don't blame you
I do the same thing
I get lonely too

And you're bad news
My friends tell me to leave you
That you're bad news, bad news, bad news

You're bad news
Baby you're bad news
and you're bad news
Baby you're bad news
and you're bad news
I don't care I like you
and you're bad news
I don't care I like you
I like you

CSS changes

I'm working on my site so it's gonna be looking pretty freaking ugly for a little while. K?

Good bye Compy, hello Lappy

I feel weird today. Unsettled, anxious, stressed, worried... School is coming up and I still don't know what I'm doing my thesis on. I'm worried about finding an internship. Worried about all kinds of stuff. My body is aching, probably from this stress. I was sitting at the computer chatting with Devin and I just spaced out in the middle of our conversation for five minutes. I can barely focus on writing this entry because my mind keeps wandering... I want to get back into writing real entries and not just like "here's a cool link"...

On happy note, I got my new PowerBook. I named him Lappy and he is yummy!

I'm not a man hater

A boy (not my brother or my father) said this to me:
"I think you should just give up on boys entirely. They're all stupid."

Ma homies!

This girl's tshirt is too funny.

The usual, please

1. Watch my new laptop's progress from China. FedEx tracking Hurry the hell up!!!

2. Went boozing all over San Francisco last night with some very cool people. Mr Smith's, Whiskey Thives, and then Toronado. Woke up to a text message that read: "Are you okay?" Yes, I'm fine thanks, except for this headache. Ouch.

3. I have finally regained my appetite and am now binging on ice cream. OMG, the new Vanilla Bean flavor from Haagen Daz is devilishly good.

4. Hung out with girl friends finally and had a really good time!

5. The weekly mantra: Love sucks, remain calm. Patience is a virtue.

Freaky

This was a weird chat session... Ah, the internet...

mmmonica415: Hi there =)
me: hello
mmmonica415: Monica?
me: hello
me: who is this?
mmmonica415: Someone who thinks you're hot!
me: um
mmmonica415: ?
me: i feel like i'm in the twilight zone
me: who are you?
“mmmonica415” signed off at 3:11:45 PM.

Gadgetgasm

Oh, yes, yes, yes! I got my slick new 20 gig iPod Photo today. I'm waiting until my new PowerBook shows up in a couple days before I use the iPod. It's the anticipation that makes it so much hotter. Mmm...

I'm not a player, I just crush a lot

Successful couples are said to have chemistry, but a study by an Oxford graduate suggests that dating may actually have more to do with physics.

Richard Ecob adapted a system for modelling atoms in radioactive decay to investigate how we look for partners. He found that "super daters", people who have many short relationships, have a good effect on others' lives. This is because they break up weak couples, forcing their victims to find better relationships.

Grow shrooms in your own home

The Boy bought me a shitake mushroom farm and I harvested the mushrooms today. Aww, aren't the cutest little babies?

Things that make me say goddamnmothereffingpieceofshit

I found this image today while sorting my images today. My PowerBook's screen looked like this once a while back. I don't know what that means, but it was not a good thing. (Look! I was working on my website!)

I found this photo I took from my dorm room window too. The empty lot on the far right is where the building I live in now was built.

Baby daddy

A Better Pill To Swallow? Article on male oral contraceptives brings up why men would be reluctant to take The Pill if it were available like women have been doing for decades. I'll all for the option that the man take The Pill instead of the woman, but I dunno if I really trust someone else in preventing what essentially amounts to MY pregnancy. Obviously with candom, I know if the guy is putting it on correctly and everything but with The Pill how could I really be sure? It would make me uneasy to put it all in his hands.\

70 questions made up by a stranger

I haven't done of these in a long time.

1. initials:
MSYL... sometimes it's SYL, sometimes ML

2. name someone with the same birthday as you:
Isaac Asimov

3. where was your first kiss?
In a movie theater!

4. for or against same sex marriages?
For.

5. are you homophobic?
Nope.

6. are you bisexual?
Girls can be hot, but I like boys a lot more.

7. do you believe in God?
Maybe a couple times a year, I do.

8. how many US states have you been to?
I think about nine.

9. how many of the US states have you lived in?
Just one.

10. have you ever lived outside the US?
Yes.

11. name something you like physically about yourself:
I am 100% confident about my ears so I like them best.

12. name something non physical you like about yourself:
I like that people find me easy to talk to.

13. where do you want to go to retire?
I never thought about it... maybe someplace warm, sunny, near a beach.

14. what is your dream car?
:gag: But I guess if I had to be pressured into having a car I would get some super fancy car that will never have to be replaced, like a Rolls Royce, and get a driver.

15. if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Antarctica? Bhutan? North Korea! Now, that would be interesting.

16. have you ever had someone of the opposite sex over at your house while your parents were gone?
Hahahaha, no.

17. how many concerts have you gone to?
I'M KINDA DEAF FROM TOO MUCH LIVE MUSIC, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

18. do you download music?
Yes, from iTunes.

19. how many illegal things have you done?
A few things here and there.

20. where would you want to go for a first date?
I like going to Ti Couz for dates.

21. describe your perfect date:
A perfect date is one where things look like they're going really smoothly and we hit it off emotionally but the sexual tension is high in the back of our minds and then the date ends in one of those dramatic movie kisses.

22. has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
Yes, awww. I love that!

23. ever been kissed under fireworks?
I don't think so.

24. do you like president bush?
No sir, I don't like him.

25. have you ever bungee jumped?
Nope

26. have you ever white- water rafted?
Haven't done that either.

27. have you ever crashed a car?
No.

28. has anyone more than 10 years older than you hit on you?
Oh, yes.

29. have you met a real redneck?
I've been to rural Mississippi...

30. are you interested in anyone right now?
Teehehehe. :blush:

31. what song are you listening to right now?
Dresden Dolls "Coin Operated Boy"

32. what is your current favorite song?
Tegan and Sara "Take Me Anywhere" "Take me by the hand and tell me you would take me anywhere... you take all the good and bad that comes with me..."

33. what was the last movie you watched?
Spinal Tap!

34. who was the last person you said you loved?
Um...

35. where was the last place you went besides your house?
Pearl art store on Market.

36. have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
:throws paint can into dumpster:

37. have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Yes... for fun. ;)

38. Have you ever sang in front of a large number of people?
Yes, I feel bad for them.

39. what's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Head (face/hair)

40. what really turns you on about the opposite sex?
I think guys are more honest with what they want than women and I really like that about guys.

41. what do you usually order from starbucks?
I hate to admit it but I really love their caramel "machiatto."

42. what is your biggest mistake?
Not cutting myself some slack in tough times.

43. have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Have you seen that movie Closer? Clive Owen asks his wife all these questions with answers he really doesn't need to hear and when asked why he keeps asking them he said, "because I'm a fucking caveman!" If you mean hurting myself like that, then, yes I've hurt myself.

44. say something totally random about you:
My toes are space further apart than most people's toes are.

45. do you have an i-pod?
I have an iPod Shuffle.

46. has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Nope, never.

47. do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
Yup! Spongebob!

48. do you have braces?
I did when I was 13.

49. are you comfortable with your height?
No, I wish I were about 3 inches taller.

50. what is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
When I was in high school and really depressed about college rejection letters my boyfriend called me at 7 in the morning and played and sang "You Are My Sunshine." I dunno if that was the most romantic thing ever, but it was really sweet.

51. when do you know its love?
When I can pee with the bathroom door open. haha.

52. do you speak any other languages besides English?
A bit of Korean and Spanish.

53. have you ever been to a tanning salon?
No skin cancer for me, thanks.

54. what magazines do you read?
Way too many. Economist, Lucky, Comm Arts, Allure, ReadyMade, Giant Robot, Jane, whatever else I can get my hands on.

55. have you ever ridden in a limo?
Yup. Do you have any Grey Poupon?

56. has anyone you were really close with pass away?
Yes.

57. do you watch mtv?
Rarely.

58. whats something that really annoys you?
Last minute flaking out, repeated scheduling changes, habitual or extreme tardiness.

59. whats something you really like?
Food... and Yelp.com. I'm such a Yelp addict.

60. do you like michael Jackson?
I heart MJ.

61. can you dance?
I can dance, but not well.

62. have you ever surfed?
No.

63. do you know how to pump gas?
I don't think I've never pumped gas in my life. Maybe I did... don't remember.

64. do you drive?
No.

65. whats the latest you have ever stayed up?
I'm in art school, how is that even a question!?

66. have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
Yes, twice.

67. were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
No.

68. have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do?
Probably but I can't remember a specific example right now.

70. do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
If I have time.

Simple is better

Ta-da Lists

This is so simple but I really like it! Online lists you can share online with everyone, some people, or just for yourself. You can make up to 10 lists and there's a dot that changes size according to how long your list it. You can reorder and edit the lists really easily. There's also RSS. I added a link to my list in the sidebar under "Lists."

I'll just take a moment to say that I LOVE lists that can be ordered by dragging the mouse, like in my Netflix queue.

Geeking out, sad version

StarTrek4Eva: my computer is dying... soooo slow
StarTrek4Eva: only 512 mb of memory
JeanLuckRulz: dang
JeanLuckRulz: I got 2 gigs biyotch, it was not cheap
StarTrek4Eva: :'(
JeanLuckRulz: yes, let me taste your tears
JeanLuckRulz: mmm yummy

Uh oh, babies are becoming cute to me

Heather at Dooce.com writes monthly letters to her baby girl assuming that at the right time in her life she will read those letters. This month's letter is so sweet I nearly cried. I love kids but I worry about being a good mother and am not sure if I want to have my own rug rats, but dang, after reading this, I want babies too!

Excerpt: For the entire time I have maintained my website I have kept a secret from most of my readers, something I didn’t ever think I would want to talk about. I have a small mole on my forehead that I photoshop out of most of my pictures primarily because when I do post a picture of me with my mole I get at least a dozen or more emails from people telling me that I have a gross zit on my forehead that needs to be addressed. I was very sensitive about this mole growing up, but it wasn’t lost on me that this mole made me unique and was very much a part of my appearance. When I was a kid I used to imagine that one day when I had children that I would teach them that if they ever felt lonely and needed a hug or kiss that they could come up to me and touch the mole on my forehead and I would give them as many kisses as they needed and then more. It would make having this mole worth the teasing I endured in my youth.

Last week I was teaching you about your nose and your mouth and your eyes, and you were able to mimic me when I touched each feature. Just as I was about to go back to the nose you stopped and got this puzzled look on your face and then you reached up and touched my mole, like, do I have one of those, too? Without hesitation I smothered you in kisses and you laughed with your entire body. Now, whenever we do the face game you go straight for the mole on my forehead and I kiss you and then you stretch your arms out and hug me. Leta, you will never know how many years of my life you have healed with this one gesture. Thank you.

Awwww. :tears of joy:

Dov versus Terry: Barely legal photography smackdown

Every boy loves the American Apparel photographs but gimme a break, it's not that big of a deal. Dov Charney just wants to be like Terry Richardson who I'm positive has been photographing girls longer than Dov. They both love photographing barely legal looking girls and, heck, they even look alike. The facial hair? The glasses? Stop stealing his look, Dov!

::droooool::

Apple's new Mighty Mouse
* Touch-sensitive top shell
* 360-degree clickable Scroll Ball
* Force-sensing side buttons
* Optical tracking
* PC-compatible

BUT, that shape I never liked.

How to REALLY Piss Me Off

Throw a party two doors down on our shared balcony on a Monday night without inviting me and make so much noise at 2:30 in the morning that I can't sleep so that I have I have step out and ask you to be quiet but your party is so insane that your guests call me a bitch and make me so I angry that tell your guests to "shut up" but it doesn't work because everyone's feathers have been ruffled and I have go down to the security office to ask the security guard to step and ask them to be quiet for me. This is fucking ridiculous. I feel like I'm living back in the dorm. Grrr, heads will roll soon if I can't get some sleep...

It's self-diagnosis time

What the heck is wrong with me? For the past or month my appetite disappeared and I couldn't seem to sleep longer than five or six hours a night but I wasn't tired at all. Today and yesterday though, I was so hungry and tired! If I eat, shouldn't I have more energy not less? The amount of sleep I'm getting is still about the same although I did sleep in over the weekend. Blah... I'm going to bed.

Photobooth Action

How cool is this? Photobooth.net/locations

Musée Mécanique I, San Francisco
Musée Mécanique II, San Francisco
Pop's Bar, San Francisco