Meditation2

Yes, you too can be a french painter

I dunno why, but I find this shirt and beret set pretty hilarious. Maybe it's only because Restoration Hardware is selling it in its holiday gift catalog which I must say presents a mighty decent collection of potential gifts. I see a possible Halloween costume in this... They also have some sickly cute mittens made for lovers.

I also got the Williams-Sonoma Gift catalog; it'ssweet, sweet food porn. (The first page even folds out.)

The saddest season of the year

On our way to, essentially, a stranger's house for Thanksgiving dinner, my brother and I both agreed that this was the worst Thanksgiving ever.

This is how we got there.

At the urging of my boyfriend, who was going to spend Thanksgiving at his aunt and uncle's friend's celebration in Saratoga, I called my brother to see what he had planned for the traditional day of gorging. I call him while he's at work and he says, "I'm going to Uncle Jay's [in Gilroy]." Since I'm still very fearful of driving on the freeway I told him I would figure out how I would get down to Gilroy to my relatives' house and that I'll call him on Wednesday. Since DZ was planning on driving to Saratoga, I figured I could catch a ride with him to the San Jose where I would meet up with my brother. Things were going fine until Wednesday rolled around and I called my aunt to see what time Thanksgiving dinner would be served.

Me: Hey, I'm just calling to see what time my brother and I should show up tomorrow.
Aunt: Oh, uh, we're not having Thanksgiving dinner this year.
Me: Oh.
Aunt: You guys don't have plans? What about your boyfriend?
Me: No, we don't have plans. My boyfriend has his own plans.
Aunt: Oh, I'm sorry.
Me: Um, it's okay.

Of course at this point I'm starting to get that sad, lonely, I-hate-the-holidays feelings.

I call my brother to tell him the news. He responds, "Oh. Well, that sucks. My roommate and our friend is having dinner at my place. You could hang out here." I think it over for a moment. Alone or with my brother's friend, who I do not like at all. It being the holidays I chose being with someone I don't like. (Don't most of us do that every holiday?) So, there is our plan.

Thanksgiving afternoon, DZ and I get in the car with my homemade pie (with one slice missing) to head to San Jose. I call my brother to get directions to his place in the car but he's not picking up. Eventually he calls me back to say that his roommate and friend decided to cancel their home cooked meal plans. Apparently, they're not in the mood now, but he does say that his friend, Frankie, invited us to his mom's for dinner. We know Frankie, but we don't know his family. My brother sighs and says, "I guess we're going to have a Mexican Thanksgiving... whatever that is." When we get to my brother's neighborhood, we get lost because of my vague Google Maps directions. We end up circling the neighborhood because my brother isn't picking up his phone. DZ looks visibly frustrated, meanwhile I'm fully engaged in holiday sadness, weeping my usual holiday tears. Eventually, my brother calls me and I get dropped off. DZ zooms away to Saratoga.

My brother's roommate is sitting on the sofa tinkering with her laptop looking disappointed. Their friend lets himself into the duplex and plops down on the sofa. Apparently, he changed his mind about dinner and went to the supermarket to gather ingredients for dinner. When he got to the check out he found out his credit card was maxed out. No Thanksgiving dinner for him. At least they had my pumpkin pie.

Once my brother emerged from his room, dressed and ready to leave, we headed down to Safeway to pick up some beer and something else. It would be even more awkward than it already is to show up empty handed. We find a pretty fruit torte and get a case of Budweiser. We are on our way.

After a missed freeway exit and the subsequent backtracking, we park on the street and step out in the neighborhood. All the driveways are stuffed with cars and the entire neighborhood smells of roasting turkeys.

We ring the doorbell and a lady answers it saying, "Uh, hi." "We're Frankie's friends," says my brother. She kind of nodded and let us in. Frankie's relatives look at us strangely. The asian kids, here at their family dinner. Frankie gives both of us a hug and his mom offers us the Thanksgiving buffet. As usual, it's meat heavy-- two turkeys and a ham.

My dinner:
1. French roll with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
2. Canned corn, buttered
3. Mashed potatoes
4. Apple pie with a dollop of Cool Whip

I take my paper plate and settle down into a green plastic lawn chair that's been brought in from the patio and watch Frank's brothers play a few of their thousands of games on a tricked out XBox. Ninja Turtles, Mario Kart, The Simpsons.... I'm watching Frank's baby waddle around the living and the cat running away from a overly aggressive toddler. I guess it's about 9pm when my brother and I decided to leave. It's icy cold in San Jose. The turkey smell is gone from the neighborhood. As we're walking to the car, he says, "Well, that was awkward but it was really nice of Frank to invite us." I nod.

We drive up to my brother's place to find it dark and empty. David shows up and they chat for a little while before he and I head back into the city.

I'm hungry so we drive through the Mission.

Safeway is closed as are my usual burrito spots. Even the dim sum place on 16th St that saved my Christmas last year was closed. So, we head to DZ's place and I heat up some packaged curry and boil water for soba noodles. Dinner is consumed and then I'm ready to sleep.

Next year I'll be making my own dinner.

Easy as pie?! Uh huh

This is the first pie I've ever made. Rolling out the crust was pretty tricky. This crust has vegetable shortening (for flakiness) and butter (for flavor). The filling is canned pumpkin puree with cinnamon, cloves, ginger, and nutmeg. I cooked the filling before putting it into the pre-baked crust to get rid of the tinny canned pumpkin flavor and to reduce the water content. Hopefully, it'll be pretty tasty.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Pumpkin Spice Cake

This pound cake is phenomenal. The spices are assertive, the crumb is tender and incredibly moist, and it gets better with age. My shitty bundt pan decided to keep the top of the cake but with a cake this tasty you don't need it be beautiful. It was easy to make too.

A happy Happy

My sad little chihuahua, ironically named Happy, chose to sleep on the floor of the garage every night instead of in her bed. Not a very discerning little puppy. But, if you do have a picky pup there's a doggie (and kitty) "hotel" opening in San Francisco called Wag. They offer day care and overnight care as well as swimming pools and massages. The luxury suite has rugs, paintings, sofas, and and an effing PLASMA TV. Damn those spoiled bitches!

Yes! A great jeeeeooorrrrrbbbb!*

I got a job offer today! Did I mention it's to be an Art Director? At a magazine? Oooooohhhh!!! Yesss!!!

*Thousand brownie points for those of you who got that reference.

All I can say is OH MY GOD

I got this email today from USF.

USF received news today that William Garner, a former professor and Dean in the School of Education, has agreed to plead guilty on charges of possessing child pornography.

The University of San Francisco is shocked and disturbed by this news.

USF had no knowledge of any wrongdoing by Dr. Garner, who resigned from USF in July 2006.

Attached is a copy of the news release issued by U.S. Attorney Kevin Ryan.

Gary McDonald
Director, USF Media Relations
---

Department of Justice
United States Attorney Kevin V. Ryan
Northern District of California

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CONTACT: Luke Macaulay
November 15,
2006
(415) 436-6757
WWW.USDOJ.GOV/USAO/CAN

Luke.Macaulay@usdoj.gov

FORMER USF EDUCATION DEAN AGREES TO PLEAD GUILTY TO POSSESSING CHILD PORNOGRAPHY

Former Professor William Garner Agrees to Recommended Sentence of 63 Months Imprisonment, $12,500 Fine, and $50,000 Restitution

SAN FRANCISCO: United States Attorney Kevin V. Ryan Announced that Dr. William T. Garner was charged today and has agreed to plead guilty to possessing child pornography. This charge is the result of an investigation by the United States Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

In agreeing to plead guilty, Garner admits to the charge that he knowingly possessed visual depictions of minors engaged in sexually explicit conduct. According to the plea agreement, Garner possessed more than 15,000 images containing child pornography, including images of prepubescent minors and images portraying sadistic or masochistic conduct or other depictions of violence. He obtained the images through the use of the Internet.

"The children depicted in these images are the victims of horrible abuse, and we will vigorously prosecute individuals possessing these materials," said U.S. Attorney Kevin V. Ryan. "Taking sex offenders off the
street and out of our neighborhoods is a high priority for the Department of Justice and our office."

Garner, age 66 and a resident of San Francisco, is charged in a one-count information with violating Title 18 U.S.C. § 2252(a)(4)(B). Garner has agreed to plead guilty.

Garner is Professor Emeritus in the School of Education at the University of San Francisco. He was previously the Dean of the School of Education at USF and was the co-founder and director of the Center for Instruction and Technology at USF.

Under the terms of the plea agreement, which must be approved by the Court, Garner and the government have agreed to recommend a sentence of 63 months imprisonment, a $12,500 fine, a term of supervised release from two to five years, and restitution of $50,000 payable to the San Francisco Child Abuse Prevention Center, a charitable organization located in San Francisco.

"We know that child abuse is something a child may never outgrow so our work at the Center is to stop it from happening," said Kathy Baxter, Division Director of the San Francisco Child Abuse Council. "If approved by the Court, we will use these funds to continue our work in educating children, their caregivers and the community about ways to prevent abuse and continue our work in improving the systems that deal with child abuse."

The arraignment of Garner is scheduled for December 7, 2006, before Magistrate Judge Bernard Zimmerman in San Francisco. The Court has not yet set a date for sentencing. The maximum statutory penalty for violation of Title 18 U.S.C. § 2252(a)(4)(B) is 10 years imprisonment, a fine of $250,000, and restitution. However, any sentence following conviction would be imposed by the court after consideration of the U.S. Sentencing Guidelines and the federal statute governing the imposition of a sentence, 18 U.S.C. § 3553.

The information filed against Garner contains only allegations and, as with all defendants, he must be presumed innocent unless and until proven guilty.

Nathanael Cousins is the Special Assistant U.S. Attorney who is prosecuting the case with the assistance of Nai Saelee, legal technician. The prosecution is the result of a six-month investigation by the U.S.
Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). ICE agents were assisted by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, Customs and Border Protection, and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

Crapari and soda

I hate Campari. After watching Life Aquatic and seeing Steve Zissou take sip after sip of Campari I bought it on a shopping trip with my brother. It's pretty icky (but not nearly as bad as it's evil sibling, Aperol) unless you mix it with tons of orange juice. Anyway, I already hate the stuff despite having half of bottle of it sitting my kitchen so guess how grossed out was I today when I found it that its bright red coloring is from crushed south american cactus bugs. Eww. Definitely not vegetarian.

Christmas gift shopping: Something for yeti-boys

Wow. This is actually pretty funny. The Philips Bodygroom. There is much bleeping of the words "carrot," "kiwis," and "peach." ;)

70 (Gross) Steps To Foie Gras Torchon

Everything you never wanted to see about the making of foie gras, from lobe to the dinner plate. I enjoy the occassional gross out that reaffirms my commitment to not eat meat. :)

I still can't vote

So I may as support faux candidates.